Are you an Atheist? Do you live in the state of Massachusetts? If you answered ‘Yes’ to both of these questions, you could be facing up to a one year imprisonment and three hundred dollar fine for your transgression.

File this one under insane, obscure, unconstitutional laws that are probably never enforced.

Chapter 272: Section 36. of the General Laws of Massachusetts states:

“Whoever wilfully blasphemes the holy name of God by denying, cursing or contumeliously reproaching God, his creation, government or final judging of the world, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, or by cursing or contumeliously reproaching or exposing to contempt and ridicule, the holy word of God contained in the holy scriptures shall be punished by imprisonment in jail for not more than one year or by a fine of not more than three hundred dollars, and may also be bound to good behavior.”

It makes you wonder how laws like this could have ever been passed and why they are not repealed.

I know this law would never be enforced, but I do think valuable time of our politicians could be spent better looking through the existing laws and repealing ones like this that are never enforced and are blatantly unconstitutional.

This would be a far more constructive expenditure of their time than their current actions. Declaring the watermelon the official state vegetable, for example, is just a waste of time.

Normally, I would give some type of commentary on the absurdity of this occurence and how people in this country are far too afraid of terrorism. In this case,  I am making an exception because the original article speaks for itself. Read it here.

A recent study conducted by MAPS.org shows that there are more ER visits per year for cheerleading accidents than there are for Ecstasy use. To quote the study:

I focused on Emergency Room (ER) visit data, the most common indicator of cost to public health. For example, according to the Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN), in 1994–nine years after MDMA was criminalized, but the first for which data is available from SAMHSA– there were 253 ER visits as a result of Ecstasy use in the US. Meanwhile, according to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission (USCPSC), in 1994 there were 15,792 ER visits as a result of participation in organized cheerleading. By that measure, in 1994 cheerleading was 62 times more of a threat to our nation’s public health than Ecstasy use. Keep in mind that most users don’t know whether their Ecstasy is pure MDMA, so these statistics reflect the risks of using unregulated black-market Ecstasy, which often contains other substances and sometimes does not even contain MDMA.

To look at those numbers another way, in 2001, one out of every 152 organized cheerleading participants sought ER treatment, while only one of out of every 585 past-year Ecstasy users sought ER treatment.

There is also a graph comparing the two for each year from 1995 to 2004:

So I guess we all know what this means. It is time to start a prohibition on cheerleading. After all, the reason certain drugs are illegal is because the are ‘unsafe’ and this study clearly shows that cheerleading is far more dangerous to public health than MDMA. It seems that if the government is at all worried about the safety of its citizens then they should outlaw cheerleading. While they’re at it (since governments never seem to know when to stop), they might as well outlaw smoking and trans fat since these are also dangerous to public health.

Of course these are ludicrous claims. The government does not have the right to regulate what people can do with their bodies. They should not be allowed regulate cheerleading and they should not be allowed to regulate drug use. I just hope this study puts drug use into perspetive for those who think the government should have the right to regulate it. Just think about how you would feel if the government banned trans fats or cheerleading and you can see why the ‘war on drugs’ is the debacle that it is. People will get their fix (whether it be trans fat, cheerleading, or drugs) even if they have to go behind Big Brothers back to get it.

A Pittsburgh girl was recently arrested for taking nude photos of herself and sending them to people she met in chat rooms on the internet. Among her charges were possession of child porn (for having the pictures stored on her hard drive), sexual abuse of children (for taking the pictures of herself) and dissemination of child porn (for distributing the pictures).

In America, the Land of the Free, a minor is not allowed to take nude pictures of herself. Not only is it not allowed, but it is considered to be child porn, and the act of taking the pictures is considered child abuse. A minor can actually be charged for sexually abusing herself. Whats next? Is masturbation going to be considered child molestation for minors?

Also, don’t forget that a child porn charge makes her a sex offender at the ripe, old age of fifteen. That means that she faces the stigma of being put in sex offender databases for the rest of her life. Some places require that sex offenders live a certain distance from schools, parks, and churches. Will her parents have to move her if they live to close to any of those places? Or will the state just take her away?

Next thing you know, a 17-year-old is going to be arrested for receiving oral sex from a 15-year-old. Oh wait, that already happened.

I always wondered how the world would end, but now it seems very clear. Mooninites, in what seems to be the first phase of a plan to take over the world, have placed bombs in Boston and nine other cities. The explosive devices depict the Mooninite leaders Ignignokt and Err making an obscene hand gesture. Luckily the Boston police were able to quickly discover the bombs (within three weeks) and disarm them before anyone was hurt. The bombs have also been removed from the other cities.

The two men accused of helping the Mooninites place the bombs in the Boston area have decided to plead not guilty.

No one knows what the next phase of the attack will be, but it may have something to do with the new movie the Mooninites are releasing. Experts suggest that it is unsafe to watch the movie, as there may be some type of subliminal brainwashing used in the film. Whatever the next phase may be, we must be prepared, even if it means cracking down on civil liberties and privacy. I just hope that the governments and bureaucrats of the world will be able to protect us from this danger. Those 1980’s 2-D video game sprites are scary, but I think we can prevail.